Sunday, August 31, 2008

Too Human, but not very Nordic

-From the pages of the sketchpad-

As an obsessed, item-collecting, compulsive RPG-er, I thought that I'd begin giving my opinion (as if there were not enough out there) on the gaming obsessions of the month. Since my current dietary requirements involve loot n' treasure, I have three games on my plate at the moment; Too Human, Tales of Vesperia, and Disgaea 3.

Today we shall bask in the shallow, jello-filled pool that is Too Human.


To begin with, let me just say that if you like the hack and slash looting of Diablo or its ilk, you'll find the game to be of similar breed. You and all of our kind already own this game and as such I have no interest in talking to you. For the rest I can tell you that it's the loot and levels that drives you, and since enemies level as you do that leaves loot.
Oh, but such loot there is to be found.
However that is neither here nor there, the combat engine that drives this game takes a while to get used to, but once you do the battles never get old or too easy. That's all there is to say.
You see, besides the occasional step out into cyberspace (also known as Greenland) there is nothing to this game but fighting. There are NO NPCs to talk to though many will stand around talking about you. All of the quests come in a satisfyingly complex system of runes (Which if you can read runic are humerously mundane) that just translate into killing the enemies you're already killing. The levels can take up to an hour or two to run through, but the hub where the blacksmithing takes blace is brief and uncomplicated.

-Sound and Graphics-

I don't care about sound or music, ask someone else. The graphics are typical XBOX360, pretty and shiny, with assorted atmospheric additions and occasionally gruesome plotlines. Though I would be amiss in not metioning the massive types and styles of armor and weapons. I mean they really outdid themselves folks. Everything looks awesome, even the junk, and it's extremely satisfying to get new stuff just for the looks. I mean come on! This is heaven for nuts like me.
However, for those who are squeemish I should mention that this game involves intestinal nudity.
I wish I was kidding.
Okay, there is no actual nudity, but you'll be screaming for these people to put on their clothes and go see a good viking plastic surgeon. ...and a psychologist.


It's Ragnarok Light. (A refreshing blend of ale and mead that won't go to your thighs) If you've read Norse mythology, you've already spoiled it. Not too deep but satisfying like a summer movie.

-To Sum Up-

Rent it, play it, it's not as bad as everyone says. Then wait for the inevitably improved sequel 'Even Human-er'. If you really have an itchin' for grog flavored gaming I just happen to have a copy I'll sell real cheap.

Barely used.

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